Writers: it's time to abolish the meaningless term "published author"

I read an introduction from a new member of an online group for authors. The newbie said, "I am a published author."

I wanted to say, "BIG FUCKING DEAL!"

At one time being a published author implied that either:

• A person wrote something so important or wonderful that a publisher paid to publish the book.
• A person is so famous (like Levi Johnston, the almost-son-in-law of Sarah Palin) that a publisher paid to publish the book.
• A person is egotistical and wealthy enough to pay thousands of dollars to a vanity press to publish the book.

Today, it takes almost no skill, time or money to become a published author.

• If you can click a keyboard and move a mouse, you can be a published author.
• The cost can be ZERO.
• You don't need to impress anyone.
• You can be a terrible writer and still be a published author.
• It doesn't matter if nobody reads your book.
• It's easier to become a published author than a licensed driver or a spouse.

Since it's so easy to become a published author, it means nothing to say you are one.

(By the way, it means almost nothing to say you're a bestselling author—but I'm one.)