I read an introduction from a new member of an online group for authors. The newbie said, "I am a published author."
I wanted to say, "BIG FUCKING DEAL!"
- A person wrote something so important or wonderful that a publisher paid to publish the book.
- A person is so famous (like Levi Johnston, the almost-son-in-law of Sarah Palin) that a publisher paid to publish the book.
- A person is egotistical and wealthy enough to pay thousands of dollars to a vanity press to publish the book.
- If you can click a keyboard and move a mouse, you can be a published author.
- The cost can be ZERO.
- You don't need to impress anyone.
- You can be a terrible writer and still be a published author.
- It doesn't matter if nobody reads your book.
- It's easier to become a published author than a licensed driver or a spouse.
Since it's so easy to become a published author, it means nothing to say you are one.
(By the way, it means almost nothing to say you're a bestselling author—but I'm one.)