Thursday, March 26, 2015

A book title and pen name encourage me to AVOID a book

I previously wrote about an awful book with an Amazon sales rank of #10,125,019. I thought that ranking was as low as it goes, but, sadly, I've found a book that reached #10,165,145. (It's now up to 7,164,574.)
It’s not unusual for a writer to use a pen name (nom de plume in French). Mark Twain is probab­ly the most famous fake. Twain’s real name was Samuel Langhorne Clem­ens, but he also used Sieur Louis de Conte.

Here's the headline from a crappy-as-usual Outskirts Press book announcement: "Outskirts Press Announces Nubian Gold, the Latest Highly-Anticipated History – Other Book from Houston, TX, Author Tarchon the Etruscan."
  • If the author was Conan the Barbarian, Atilla the Hun or Andre the Giant, I might have read more.
  • If the category was more exciting than "History - Other," I might have read more.
  • If the publisher was not Outskirts Press, I might have read more.
  • If the press release was written better, I might have read more.
  • If the description on Amazon did not have a silly, uncorrected error (Follow the paths of two men as the find their destinies. . .), I might have read more.
  • If the Etruscan was from ancient Italy -- not modern Texas -- I might have read more.
  • And finally, the full title is Nubian Gold: A Conspiracy of Jewish Proportions. I've heard enough antisemitic crap about alleged Jewish Conspiracies and will not buy the book. ("Abraham, Sarah, Akhenaten, Esther, Daniel, the Septuagint, Martin Luther, William Tyndale and some notable rabbis all come alive in Tarchon the Etruscan's Nubian Gold. Finally the 'true' history of the Jewish people and of their holy scriptures has been told.")
If you're more curious or motivated than I was, here's a link for the book on

OOPS. I'm not through.

If you need another reason to ignore the book, read this egomaniacal bullshit about the author: "Tarchon the Etruscan is a student of the human condition, wielding the written craft to enrapture the mind much like an artist wields a brush. The pages are a blank canvas on which to draw from a talent heralded by many and matched only by an imagination that rises to the task. Nubian Gold is the reminiscences of a seer’s vision."

It's hard to read that without puking.

Sorry, Tarchon. Somehow, I just don't feel much of an urge to have my mind enraptured, especially by an  egomaniac who is afraid to use his or her real name.

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