It's easier to become a "published author" than a Cub Scout. Let's abolish the meaningless term.

A great many years ago I was a Cub Scout. The lowest rank in Cub Scouting is Bobcat. Every Cub starts as a Bobcat. You can't be a Cub Scout and not be at least a Bobcat. A Bobcat is lower than a Wolf or a Bear. A Bobcat doesn't have to start a fire by rubbing two sticks together, build a crystal radio, bandage a wound, walk on snowshoes or help an old lady cross the street.

To be a Bobcat a kid has to:

• learn and say the Cub Scout motto, the promise and the Law of the Pack -- and tell what they mean
• Show the Cub Scout sign, the salute and the handshake -- and tell what they mean
• Show that he understands and believes that it is important to be honest and trustworthy

Since those requirements were so basic, (if I remember correctly) we were not allowed to wear our Bobcat pins on our spiffy new uniforms.

I thought of that recently when I was reading an introduction from a new member of an online group for authors.

The newbie said, "I am a published author."

I wanted to say, "BIG FUCKING DEAL!"

At one time being a published author implied that either:

• A person wrote something so important or wonderful that a publisher paid to publish the book.
• A person is so famous (like Levi Johnston, the almost-son-in-law of Sarah Palin) that a publisher paid to publish the book.
• A person is egotistical and wealthy enough to pay thousands of dollars to a vanity press to publish the book.

Today, it takes almost no skill, time or money to become a published author.

• If you can click a keyboard and move a mouse, you can be a published author. 
• If you can't operate a PC, someone can do it for you.
• The cost can be ZERO.
• You don't have to impress anyone.
• You can be a terrible writer and still be a published author.
• It doesn't matter if nobody reads your book.
• It's easier to become an author than to become a Bobcat.
• You don't even have to learn to salute or promise to follow Akela.

Since it is so easy to become a published author, it means nothing to say you are one. It is nothing to brag about.

(By the way, it means almost nothing to say you're a bestselling author -- but I'm one.)