I got some stupid questions, some too-low offers, and Friday I received these two emails:
From Arthur Delgado: Michael N. Marcus, someone sexxy is looking to hook up with you and sent you a secret note below:
"Hey is your stuff still on for sale? I got cash prepared. And umm, I saw your post and thought I would give this a shot. Im all yours tomorrow after work around 3:30pm ish so let's have dinner. My cell # is 445-79XX (last 2 digits are covered up) so text me. Can you send me your pictures to my cell so I know you are real and I will reply back with mine too. I even uploaded a video for you on my profile, do you like it? I promise Im not a weirdo just want to become friends and maybe more!"
- I'm relieved to know that Arthur is "not a weirdo."
From Todd Mitchell: I read your ad and decided to ask you something important. I am married and caught my partner cheating on me so I must get even! My coworker said cl would be the best place to find somebody who I can hook up with for one time only so thought the hell, I would email someone I thought sounded incredible in the ad and came across yours! You seem real and interesting so would you be maybe interested in chatting online first to see if we're feeling each other? To prove to you that I am real, I uploaded all of my pix, phone #, and a special note for you only under my private profile page. Can you call me today if you think I am hot? This way I can weed out bots and scammers as I'm sick of them! I bet you'll be astonished to see who I am! :)
- Hmm, I wonder if I can fix up Arthur and Todd. I wonder if they need any shelf brackets or hooks.
But wait -- there's more. This just came in from Jeffrey King:
Are you real? This might be unusual but I see that you live nearby and was inquiring if you would like to join our secret adult fun club. Basically we are seeking out local members with needs to to test their sexual fetishes or sexual needs in 5 star hotels. You'll be introduced to lots of hotties and you will pair up with whoever you want. There's no cost, very discreet and safe!
One and only thing we do require is that you must create a free adult facebook profile to verify that you are not underage and local. That is all. Once you do so, sexy locals will send you a private message with their phone # and pictures. Why don't you see to see who's available for you? You'll be surprised!