Yesterday I received a spam email addressed to "April Wong," a phantom who has somehow become connected to my email address.
April receives lots of spam, usually related to dubious investment opportunities, breast and penis enlargement, pyramid schemes, cheesecake recipes, treasure maps, degrees from prestigious-but-unaccredited "universities," and the secret of life.
Strangely, yesterday's email congratulated April on her new book and promised to help find her a publisher.
Your career as a published author starts here
Imagine having your own book published and seeing it for sale at Borders or
Barnes and Noble. Just send us your manuscript and start getting your book published today.
Midwest Publishing (BULLSHIT -- they never heard of Rebecca.)
ps..With the resources available today you can be a newbie author and get a book published
The site says it "gives you access to some of the most dynamic book publishers who are currently seeking to develop new authors," but it does not explain what a dynamic publisher is.
I poked around and was taken to a typical "get rich quick in your pajamas" website which denies that it is a get rich quick site.
Some further clicking took me to a site filled with legal mumbo-jumbo which may have required more intense deliberation and more drafts than the Declaration of Independence.
THIS IS IMPORTANT - PLEASE READ
THIS WEBSITE REQUIRES CONSIDERATION FOR AND AS A CONDITION OF ALLOWING YOU ACCESS.
ALL PERSONS UNDER THE AGE OF 18 ARE DENIED ACCESS TO THIS WEBSITE. IF YOU ARE UNDER 18 YEARS OF AGE, IT IS UNLAWFUL FOR YOU TO VISIT, READ, OR INTERACT WITH THIS WEBSITE OR ITS CONTENTS IN ANY MANNER. THIS WEBSITE SPECIFICALLY DENIES ACCESS TO ANY INDIVIDUAL THAT IS COVERED BY THE CHILD ONLINE PRIVACY ACT (COPA) OF 1998.
Visitors, viewers, users, subscribers, members, affiliates, or customers, collectively referred to herein as "Visitors," are parties to this agreement. The website and its owners and/or operators are parties to this agreement, herein referred to as "Website."
USE OF INFORMATION FROM THIS WEBSITE
Unless you have entered into an express written contract with this website to the contrary, visitors, viewers, subscribers, members, affiliates, or customers have no right to use this information in a commercial or public setting; they have no right to broadcast it, copy it, save it, print it, sell it, or publish any portions of the content of this website. By viewing the contents of this website you agree this condition of viewing and you acknowledge that any unauthorized use is unlawful and may subject you to civil or criminal penalties. Again, Visitor has no rights whatsoever to use the content of, or portions thereof, including its databases, invisible pages, linked pages, underlying code, or other intellectual property the site may contain, for any reason for any use whatsoever. Nothing. Visitor agrees to liquidated damages in the amount of U.S.$100,000 in addition to costs and actual damages for breach of this provision. Visitor warrants that he or she understands that accepting this provision is a condition of viewing and that viewing constitutes acceptance.
OWNERSHIP OF WEBSITE OR RIGHT TO USE, SELL, PUBLISH CONTENTS OF THIS WEBSITE
The website and its contents are owned or licensed by the website. Material contained on the website must be presumed to be proprietary and copyrighted. Visitors have no rights whatsoever in the site content. Use of website content for any reason is unlawful unless it is done with express contract or permission of the website. (UH-OH!)
HYPERLINKING TO SITE, CO-BRANDING, "FRAMING" AND REFERENCING SITE PROHIBITED (UH-OH!)
Unless you are a member or affilliate [sic] of this site and have been expressly authorized by website, no one may hyperlink this site, or portions thereof, (including, but not limited to, logotypes, trademarks, branding or copyrighted material) to theirs for any reason. Further, you are not allowed to reference the url (website address) of this website in any commercial or non-commercial media without express permission, nor are you allowed to 'frame' the site. You specifically agree to cooperate with the Website to remove or de-activate any such activities and be liable for all damages. You hereby agree to liquidated damages of US$100,000.00 plus costs and actual damages for violating this provision. (UH-OH!)
DISCLAIMER FOR CONTENTS OF SITE
The website disclaims any responsibility for the accuracy of the content of this website. (Nice.) Visitors assume the all risk of viewing, reading, using, or relying upon this information. Unless you have otherwise formed an express contract to the contrary with the website, you have no right to rely on any information contained herein as accurate. The website makes no such warranty.
DISCLAIMER FOR HARM CAUSED TO YOUR COMPUTER OR SOFTWARE FROM INTERACTING WITH THIS WEBSITE OR ITS CONTENTS. VISITOR ASSUMES ALL RISK OF VIRUSES, WORMS, OR OTHER CORRUPTING FACTORS. (Not encouraging.)
The website assumes no responsibility for damage to computers or software of the visitor or any person the visitor subsequently communicates with from corrupting code or data that is inadvertently passed to the visitor's computer. Again, visitor views and interacts with this site, or banners or pop-ups or advertising displayed thereon, at his own risk. (UH-OH!)
DISCLAIMER FOR HARM CAUSED BY DOWNLOADS
Visitor downloads information from this site at this own risk. Website makes no warranty that downloads are free of corrupting computer codes, including, but not limited to, viruses and worms. (Not encouraging.)
LIMITATION OF LIABILITY
By viewing, using, or interacting in any manner with this site, including banners, advertising, or pop-ups, downloads, and as a condition of the website to allow his lawful viewing, Visitor forever waives all right to claims of damage of any and all description based on any causal factor resulting in any possible harm, no matter how heinous or extensive, (Damn!) whether physical or emotional, foreseeable or unforeseeable, whether personal or business in nature.
Visitor agrees that in the event he causes damage, which the Website is required to pay for, the Visitor, as a condition of viewing, promises to reimburse the Website for all. (Fuck you, and the horse your website rode in on.)
No additional notice of any kind for any reason is due to Visitor and Visitor expressly warrants an understanding that the right to notice is waived as a condition for permission to view or interact with the website. (Of course.)
Arbitration shall be conducted pursuant to the rules of the American Arbitration Association (Which are probably better rules than those of the Libyan Arbitration Association) which are in effect on the date a dispute is submitted to the American Arbitration Association. Information about the American Arbitration Association, its rules, and its forms are available from the American Arbitration Association, 335 Madison Avenue, Floor 10, New York, New York, 10017-4605. Hearing will take place in the city or county of the Seller.
In no case shall the viewer, visitor, member, subscriber or customer have the right to go to court or have a jury trial. (Sounds like Libya, or maybe Albania) Viewer, visitor, member, subscriber or customer will not have the right to engage in pre-trial discovery except as provided in the rules; you will not have the right to participate as a representative or member of any class of claimants pertaining to any claim subject to arbitration; (Fuck you some more.) the arbitrator's decision will be final and binding with limited rights of appeal.
The prevailing party shall be reimbursed by the other party for any and all costs associated with the dispute arbitration, including attorney fees, collection fees, investigation fees, travel expenses. (First class, of course.)
JURISDICTION AND VENUE
If any matter concerning this purchase shall be brought before a court of law, pre- or post-arbitration, Viewer, visitor, member, subscriber or customer agrees to that the sole and proper jurisdiction to be the state and city declared in the contact information of the web owner unless otherwise here specified - Warren, OH. In the event that litigation is in a federal court, the proper court shall be the closest federal court to the Seller's address. (Tripoli or Tirana?)
Viewer, visitor, member, subscriber or customer agrees that the applicable law to be applied shall, in all cases, be that of the state of the Seller. (I'm glad I'm not buying anything.)
You may direct questions, comments or reports to: support@zeroXXblog.com
St. George Group Inc.
doing business as www.zeroXXblog.com
8246 E Market Street #161
Warren, OH 44485
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