Sunday, April 25, 2010

World's worst poem, from world's worst poet, about world's worst publisher

"A Poem About PublishAmerica"
By Luke Easter, PublishAmerica author

WARNING: have barf bag handy while reading.

In the classic, "Still Waters" the Four Tops sing,
To me about happiness and joy others will bring,
The line, "If I don't click my glass and say a toast,"
Goes to Publish America when I needed them most.

Allowing writers to live what was once a distant dream,
Reality's no longer as far away as it would forever seem,
Countless amounts in dollars, they advise in common sense,
Add these two together the total being at their own expense.

Yes, it's not only monetary but plenty of sound advice,
And that's forever not just happenstance once or twice,
A publishing company who not only works with but for,
Greetings with a smile to all when knocking on the door.

For more information go online & check out the web page,
Whether bookmarks or your favorites be sure to hit saved,
Authors with easy names from A to the more difficult Z,
Books on everything from gardening to the likes of poetry.

Titles are in the thousands while genres are good and plenty,
With original process of thought as the ideas flow from many,
Self-help, instructional, comedy, drama, education, history,
Fiction, sports, family, health and many more like mystery.

Dealing with some publishing houses can be a book of grief,
Your experience with Publish America is a welcomed relief,
From manuscript submission to the final draft actually in print,
Seeking an agreement in principle? Well, hope you take the hint.

From Katie and the hard working crew in the department of text,
Denise and the entire support team who will tell you what's next,
Not enough accolades to cover the genius of those in cover design,
There isn't a more sincere Publishing House in the industry to find.

The poet's overpriced $29.95 paperback book had an Amazon sales rank this morning of #5,750,203. It's hard to get worse than that, and the book has received just one review in nearly three years of availability.
The description on Amazon says, "Everyone will be held accountable for his or her actions.... It implores us to think before we act or speak, and never to judge or condemn."

I disagree. I hereby judge and condemn Luke Easter as a really crappy poet. I hope he'll be held accountable for his actions in misusing the English language, and wasting precious trees and bytes.

BTW, the $29.95 book is also available from PublishAmerica for just $4.99, which may be a better indication of its value.

(Photo of man with barf bag from


  1. Idiot Easter didn't even realize that "Publish America" is supposed to be spelled as "PublishAmerica" (one word).

    I may spend $4.99 for the book. It's a convenient way to package toilet paper for hiking.

  2. Right up there with "How to Good-bye Depression".


  3. Rhyming "page" and "saved" is an interesting innovation in poetry, as is using the ampersand in place of the word "and."

    This may be the work of a future winner of the Nobel Prize for literature.

    OTOH, it may be the scribblings of a not-very-bright 11-year-old.

    Even more pathetic than the actual poem is the fact that some idiot at PublishAmerica chose to display it.

  4. Thanks! This means I'm on the right track.