Thursday, October 8, 2009

How does a company as screwed-up as Lulu stay in business?

Lulu's founder and Chief Executive Idiot Bob Young

Lulu is a vanity press.

Lulu is also a book printing and sales company.

Lulu is a liar that says it provides publishing "for free." Its publishing is only free if no books have to be published.

Lulu is a whore. It will manufacture books for anyone who will pay the price, with no consideration for subject or quality.

Lulu published the worst-looking, worst-written, worst-titled book I've ever seen.

I'm amazed at the company's incompetence.

I'm amazed at the company's poor customer service. (Customer support is by email only, and it can take several days to receive an irrelevant robotic response.)

I'm amazed at the poor quality of its books. (They printed a book for me on wrinkled paper where words disappeared into the wrinkles.)

I'm amazed that Lulu's Director of Public Relations, Gail Jordan, has not answered phoned and emailed questions for over a month. She was told that I need the information for a book I'm writing. It will be published without her answer.

I'm not amazed that Lulu's founder Bob Young said, “We publish a huge number of really bad books.” (I am amazed that Bozo Bob said it to an interviewer, and was quoted in Publishers Weekly. He didn't say it in private to an employee or an old buddy.)

I guess I'm not amazed that Bob misspelled "misspell" and confused “less” and “fewer.”

I am amazed and extremely pissed-off at Lulu's utterly inept online bookselling system.

Lulu published an eBook of mine in August, called Telecom Reference eBook.

A search for its exact title brings up 5078 results taking up 508 pages.

Some suggestions from the retarded Lulu search computer:

A Guide to Sacred Drumming,
Professional Helicopter Pilot Studies
Gay Girls in Dresses
How to Study and Interpret the Holy Bible
Sacred Geometry Design Sourcebook
Epic Role Playing Game Manual
Dragon's Den
Resurrection of the Hellcat
Thinking Skinny Ebook
Passion X:
Film Dollies, Cranes, & Camera Stands
Disciplinary Dialogues

I gave up the search before finding my book.

If I search for books written by my exact name (Michael N. Marcus), I get 4732 results taking up 474 pages.

Those pages are filled with names that are not mine. including hundreds of other Michaels and Marcuses, and even Edgar Amaya!

Since I know the exact page where my book is located, I can go directly there.

That stupid page recommend these "related items":

Calabazas de Halloween 2008
Student Manifesto
Firing Off Blanks
The Vampyre Prophecy

It shouldn't be that difficult to develop or buy search technology.

Obviously Amazon and B&N provides proper searching for books. And so does Google.

Ironically, a Google search (or a Bing search or an Excite search or a Yahoo search) for my eBook title instantly produces a link to the right page on Lulu.

If Google and the other search engines know how to do a search on Lulu, why the hell doesn't Lulu know how to do a search on Lulu?

The best way to search for a book on Lulu, is to not search for it on Lulu.

Lulu appears to be run by a bunch of uncaring idiots, with computers dumber than dirt.

How do they stay in business?

Sadly, maybe their customers know less than they do.


  1. Lulu is pathetic. They deserve to go bankrupt. I sure hope they don't get a bailout from the government.

  2. Very sad. Thanks for the warning. The site-search disaster is very revealing. They apparently don't even realize how incompetent they are.

  3. I'm not just a whore, I'm a cheap whore.