Thursday, October 29, 2009

Aging Baby Boomer’s Low-Tech Secret Weapon

If you remove the Caps Lock key, you can’t tap it accidentally.

As you write, be conscious of your habitual errors, which may increase as you get older. I have many “senior moments” (also known as “brain farts”) while typing.

  • Don’t laugh at me if you’re just 30 years old. The 20-year-olds are laughing at you.
  • It takes just about 15 minutes to go from age-30 to age-50. It takes five minutes to go from 50 to 60.

  • I’m a proud member of the first cohort of the Baby Boom. I was born in 1946 along with Billy Clinton, Dolly Parton, Candy Bergen, Donny Trump, Georgie and Laura Bush, Cher, Linda Ronstadt, Lisa Minnelli, Patty Smith, Jimmy Buffet, Reggie Jackson, Ilie Nastase, Sly Stallone, and Oliver Stone.

    In the new system, we are all still middle-aged, and we will remain middle-aged until dirt is shoveled on top of us.

    Lately, I’ve frequently and stupidly held down the shift key as I pressed the key to insert an apostrophe, and ended up inserting a colon. I often type “i nthe,” “hsould,” “nad” and “fro ma.” I now tap the Caps Lock key a lot by accident, the semicolon instead of the apostrophe, and the “Page Down” key instead of “delete.”

    I’ve also degenerated from being the world’s fastest six-finger typist to a pretty-good two-finger typist. (I actually have 10 fingers but I’ve never used them all for typing.)

    If I live long enough, I’ll probably develop even more bad habits that I can’t control. I hope sloppy typing is not an early sign of dementia. I guess having to fix typos is better than dying young and perfect. When I start drooling on the keyboard, someone should take it away from me.

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