Wednesday, December 2, 2020

Authors can travel through time. It can be enlightening, entertaining and disturbing.

My career as a writer started in fourth grade at Davis Street School in New Haven, back when purple dinosaur Barney roamed the planet.

I did not write juvenile poems or stories like other kids. I was a young journalist. My friend Alan and I wrote articles about the other kids in our school, and his father's secretary typed them up and printed our "newspaper" on a mimeograph machine. We priced the paper at a nickel. I don't think we sold many, and may have published only two issues.

I have no copies of our short-lived news medium, and don't even remember its name. The name was probably lame and my writing probably would embarrass me today.

Later, I was a journalism major at Lehigh University and wrote for the student newspaper, the Brown and White (named for the school's horridly dull colors which only a coprophile could be enthusiastic about). I probably saved most of my "clips" from those days, but all but one of them—a major opus—disappeared years ago.

After college I wrote for lots of magazines and some newspapers. At first I saved everything that was published. After a while, seeing my byline in print was no big deal, so I stopped clipping and saving. At one time I had bound volumes of Rolling Stone which included my work. I think the huge books are in my attic, but I haven't seen them in decades. My decedents can decide what to do with them. Will the books be worth money?

I sometimes fantasize about time travel (and space travel, unassisted flight, X-ray vision and feet that don't hurt).
  • One recurring fantasy involves the adult-me encountering the child-me. Would adult-me warn the child-me not to make the stupid mistakes up ahead? Would the adult-me like the child-me? Would the child-me be afraid of the adult-me, or think he's an asshole


[above] I wrote a book about advising myself.

With current technology, time travel has to exist in the mind only.

But even without a time machine or a clipping file, there are ways for writers to go back to an earlier era and evaluate their youthful output. We can determine if indeed "the child is father to the man," or if adulthood strayed far from childhood and young adulthood.

The Lehigh student paper has been scanned back as far as 1894, and the issues are online and searchable.
 
Traditionally, newspapers have had "morgues," where back issues become yellow and moldy, and sometimes crumble. I know that the New York Times has digitized archives online, but I had no idea that the concept had reached college papers. I suppose that I shouldn't be surprised that Lehigh—a school known for educating engineers—would have a digital, online morgue.

I was somewhat apprehensive about reading what I had written in the mid-1960s. Would I recognize my writing as "my" writing? How badly was my work butchered by editors? Was I any good then? Was I an asshole?

In one of the Back to the Future movies, Marty McFly wonders if his future kids will think he's an asshole. I understand his fear.

Researching and writing my recent memoir stirred up some long-buried emotions and I was initially reluctant to type my name into the search window on the Lehigh website.

I could not resist for long. I typed in "Michael N. Marcus," and found my name listed as a "reporter" in a 1965-66 staff list. Strangely, I found no links for anything I had written.
  • I then typed my name without my middle initial, and my monitor revealed the good, the bad and the ugly.
Apparently I had not yet started using my middle initial in my byline (probably because I despised my middle name until later in my life, when I also realized that there are many other Michael Marcuses and I needed to make my name and byline distinctive).

I did not find all of the pieces I remember writing, and found some I did not remember.

Subjects ranged from mundane (a $50,000 allocation to improve campus safety that few read in 1966 and I did not read in the 21st century) to politics and reviews. I found a mildly critical review I wrote of a jazz concert, and a scathing review of a live electronic music concert performed by ME, that I might wish was not preserved for posterity.

After months of wandering through Antarctic blizzards, female Emperor Penguins return home and are able to identify their mates from among thousands of apparently identical males.

I'm amazed that my writing "voice" in 1965 is not even remotely recognizable to me as me.

If I did not see my byline, I could not have identified my words—and that was very, very weird. My word sequences were not even as distinct as the feathers on a damn penguin!
  • The 19-year-old Michael Marcus does not sound at all like the 74-year-old Michael N. Marcus. In 1965, I had not yet developed an identifiable style.
The young-me was a decent journalist, and his writing style is much more serious than the old-me. At least he doesn't seem like an asshole.

I'm sure there are people who think the old-me is an asshole. At age 74, I don't care.

--------------------
If your old words are online you can probably find them on the Interenet Wayback Machine website. 

(Barney pic may be from PBS. Photo of Michael J. Fox as Marty McFly is from Universal Pictures. Photo of penguins is from Southern California Public Radio.)

Monday, November 30, 2020

It's time to kill the term "published author." It's easier to become a published author than a Cub Scout.


A great many years ago I was a Cub Scout. The lowest rank in Cub Scouting was Bobcat. Every Cub starts as a Bobcat. You can't be a Cub Scout and not be at least a Bobcat. A Bobcat is lower than a Wolf or a Bear. A Bobcat doesn't have to start a fire by rubbing two sticks together, build a crystal radio, bandage a wound, walk on snowshoes or help an old lady to cross the street.

To be a Bobcat a kid has to:
  1. Learn and say the Cub Scout motto, promise and the Law of the Pack—and tell what they mean
  2. Show the Cub Scout sign, salute and handshake—and tell what they mean
  3. Show that he understands and believes that it is important to be honest and trustworthy.
Since those requirements were so basic, (if I remember correctly) we were not allowed to wear our Bobcat pins on our spiffy new uniforms.

I thought of that recently when I was reading an introduction from a new member of an online group for authors.

The newbie said, "I am a published author."

I wanted to say, "BIG FUCKING DEAL!"


At one time being a published author implied that either:
  1. A person wrote something so important or wonderful that a publisher paid to publish the book.
  2. A person is so famous (like Levi Johnston, the almost-son-in-law of Sarah Palin) that a publisher paid to publish the book.
  3. A person is egotistical and wealthy enough to pay thousands of dollars to a vanity press to publish the book.
Today, it takes almost no skill, time or money to become a published author.
  1. If you can click a keyboard and move a mouse, you can be a published author.
  2. The cost can be ZERO.
  3. You don't have to impress anyone.
  4. You can be a terrible writer and still be a published author.
  5. You can ignore the traditions and rules of the book business.
  6. You can shun editors and designers.
  7. You can offend potential readers and reviewers and booksellers.
  8. It doesn't matter if nobody reads your book.
  9. It's easier to become an author than to become a Bobcat.
  10. You don't even have to learn to salute.
Since it is so easy to become a published author, it means nothing to say you are one. So, DON'T DO IT.

(By the way, it means almost nothing to say you're a bestselling author, but I'm one.)





Friday, November 27, 2020

Authors: who cares who published your book? Probably nobody


On Wednesday it was announced that publishing behemoth Penguin Random House would buy publishing behemoth Simon & Schuster. There have been some complaints about decreased competition for authors' attention and booksellers' money—but not from me. I just don't care if the book publishing business is dominated by a Big Five, Big Four or Big Three. Maybe not even a Big Two.

I remember the snickers and giggles from a few years ago when Random merged with Penguin. Would the new company be called Penguin House or Random Penguin?

I was at a community social event a few years ago to meet some people I knew only through Facebook. I had taken some copies of my newest book to give to them. We were seated in a huge room with hundreds of people and we talked to strangers who were sitting near us. 

When I took the books out and signed them for the FB friends, the strangers immediately asked if they could see the books. They flipped through the pages and smiled (a good sign). 

One said, "I never met an author before." Another asked where she could buy the book. A third asked how long it takes to write a book. Someone asked if I find it hard to write a book. Another asked how I decide what to write about. 

One question that nobody asked is "what company published the book." 


From what I've observed, a publisher's name on a book is very different from a brand name on a car, a bottle of wine or a pair of shoes. It's more like the number of a TV channel—completely irrelevant to most people.

Readers are interested in a book's content and maybe the author's reputation—not the name of the company that delivered the content.
  • However, since I am an author and publisher as well as a reader, I know to be very wary of books from certain publishers. If a book comes from Outskirts Press or any of the Author Solutions brands, I know to expect poorly edited—or unedited—crap.


  • Zoe Winters writes quirky and sometimes dark paranormal romance and fantasy. She says, “The average reader doesn’t care how a book gets to market. If the book is good, it doesn't matter if your Chihuahua published it.” 
  • Author Simon Royle wrote, “People don't buy books from publishers. They buy them from authors.” 
  • Edward Uhlan founded Exposition Press—an early and important pay-to-publish company—in 1936. He said, “Most people can’t tell the difference between a vanity book and a trade book anyway. A book is a book.” 
Concentrate on producing top-quality books.

Choose a good name for your tiny publishing company that does not limit you to one genre, or sound like another company in the book business. My company is Silver Sands Books. Here's some advice for choosing a name for your publishing company.


Don't for a minute fret that readers will reject you because the logo on your books doesn't belong to Penguin or Simon & Schuster.




------------
dog pic from Google Images
Penguin pic from Penguins Blog 

Monday, November 23, 2020

What's missing from many poorly selling books? PASSION and PROMOTION


The Internet is filled with bad advice on creating bestselling books. Most of it involves finding the most popular online search topics.


According to many of the 'experts' (most of whom want to sell you something), if millions of people are interested in Oprah, Wells Fargo or Obama, you can easily sell millions of books about Oprah, Wells Fargo or Obama—and make millions of dollars.
  • The authoritative ignoramuses say that it doesn't matter if you're a bad writer, know nothing about the subject and don't think professional editing and design are necessary.
Some 'experts' tell you that instead of actually writing a book you can just copy words from the web and paste them together, use any available software to create a cover, and soon untold riches and fame will be yours.


(above) Sadly, many of the ugliest and least-useful books are written to help others publish books.

There is no certainty about selling anything. There are many things a writer—even a very good writer—cannot control.  
  • Research, testing and advance publicity might be useful, but trying to tailor a book to perceived reader interest can lead to yet another redundant barbecue cookbook, stop-smoking guide or celebrity confession.
Market research is no substitute for PASSION for the subject of the book and strong PROMOTION for the book.
  • Without passion, writers are factory laborers.
  • Without effective promotion, potential readers won't know the book exists.
Also, if you delay publication so you can engage in extensive research and test marketing, interest in the subject may pass by the time your book goes on sale—and competitive books may beat you to the marketplace.
  • If an author is aiming at traditional publishing, a year of advance research before beginning a search for an agent and publisher can be an eternity.
  • Self-publishing greatly reduces the time-to-market compared to traditional publishing. A book can be published in a few weeks or months.


[above] Steve Jobs developed amazing Apple products based on his own passion, not on market research.

Over a dozen of my books have been bestsellers with ZERO market research.
 
My recent book, Do As I Say, Not As I Did quickly became a bestseller without my checking to find out what people were searching for on Google or Bing. I wrote about what I know about and have passion for.

 
[Jobs photo by Matthew Yohe. Thanks.]

Friday, November 20, 2020

Authors: here are 30 possible reasons your book is selling poorly

Each year hundreds of thousands of different book titles are published. Some sell millions of copies. Many sell thousands or hundreds. Many sell just dozens—or even fewer—copies.

Books “fail” for many reasons. Here are some:
  1. Your book stinks. There are many ways for a book to stink.
  2. Your cover is ugly.
  3. Your cover image conflicts with your title or genre.
  4. Your cover is an indiscernible blob when reduced to "thumbnail" size on websites.
  5. Your title is confusing or vague and your subtitle doesn't help.
  6. Your name conflicts with your genre. Pearl Zane Grey dropped the "Pearl" to write macho westerns. Joanne Rowling became "J. K." to attract teenage boys to her books. If your last name is Hitler or Stalin, get a nicer pen name for romance novels or books about flower arranging or etiquette.
  7. Your title has been used by other books. Maybe many other books.
  8. You are being confused with another author—or maybe someone with a bad reputation. If your last name is Madoff, use another name for books about investing.
  9. There are many other nonfiction books covering the same subject. You have too many competitors and probably should not have published the book. Does the world really need another barbecue cookbook or JFK biography?
  10. There are too many novels in the same genre. Does the world really need another book about post-apocalypse teenage lesbian cannibals?
  11. You wrote poetry. Very few people buy poetry.
  12. You didn’t work hard enough at promoting your book. Not enough potential purchasers know it exists.
  13. You’re too bashful to promote yourself.
  14. Your book is hard to find. It’s not available where people expect to buy it.
  15. Your market is too narrow—not enough people care about the subject. You may write an absolutely wonderful book about your absolutely wonderful mother, but your potential audience may be eight people—or two people. 
  16. Your price is wrong. If it’s too low, there’s not enough money left for you, and the low price hurts your book’s credibility. If it’s too high, you may scare readers or lose sales to your competitors.
  17. Your book has received either too many bad reviews or no reviews at all.
  18. You tried to do too much yourself, and did not hire a professional editor and designer.
  19. Your timing is wrong. The book came out too soon or too late. You missed the peak of popularity. The fad either never became big enough or went out of fashion before the book was published. Sales of Jerome Corsi’s book questioning President Obama’s birthplace dropped to almost nothing because it was published after Obama released his birth certificate. Pick a hot topic, and one that may stay hot, or at least warm, for a few years. 
  20. Your thesis has been disproved. Obama was NOT born in Kenya. 
  21. You used a self-publishing company and its services were overpriced or the company did not do all of the work you expected it to do or it did not produce a high-quality book or it did lousy or inadequate promotion.
  22. You spent too much money on original photography or illustrations, and did not have enough money left to promote the book.
  23. You don’t have a website where potential purchasers—and book reviewers—can find more information.
  24. You think that your work will end when you finish writing. Promoting may take more effort than writing.
  25. You don't know enough about your subject.
  26. You have nothing new to say. 
  27. Your book is too short (it seems like too little for its price, or seems that it may not adequately cover the subject).
  28. Your book is too long (people have limited attention spans, many things to devote their attention to, and they may not want to plow through 800 pages).
  29. Your book is not available in the formats people want (paperback, ebooks, talking books, maybe even hardback).
  30. Your books stinks (worth repeating).

[The fake book cover up above shows my late mother, Rita J. Marcus. She was a wonderful person for many reasons, but probably not book-worthy.]

Wednesday, November 18, 2020

Outskirts Press's Brent Sampson fu**ed up again


Brent Sampson
is the frequently inept founder and boss of the frequently inept Outskirts Press.

Outskirts is a company that specializes in extracting money from naïve wannabe authors who have no idea how to judge the quality of a book or the company that produces it. 


The company was founded in 2002, but even after 18 years, it still uses a UPS store as 'corporate headquarters.' Apparently its employees worked from their homes even long before the COVID-19 disaster. 


[above] Outskirts is so terrible that I wrote a book a
bout it way back in 2010. 

I am amazed that the company is still in business—but each year there is a new crop of hopeful Pulitzer winners who neglect to do even very basic research before selecting a publishing services provider and then paying money to Outskirts.

Outskirts Press has called itself "the fastest-growing full-service publishing provider" and frequently touts dubious awards the company and its books have collected. Some of those books, and the press releases that promote them, are filled with silly errors that should have been avoided.

When authors are disappointed (and enraged), service reps hide behind the fine print of a contract that does not warrant that books will be error-free. Outskirts is also inept (and dishonest) when it promotes itself. Its website, emails, press releases, blogs and promotional literature have factual errors, mistakes in grammar, spelling and arithmetic—and deliberate distortion.

Outskirts uses such grandiose phrases as "a veritable army of publishing professionals" to attract customers—but those professionals tell lies to make independent self-publishing seem much harder than it really is.

Although Outskirts uses such buzzwords as "self-publishing" and "print-on-demand," it's really a vanity publisher. Vanity publishers make most of their money by selling services and overpriced trinkets (even sneakers bearing the images of book covers!) to naïve authors—not by selling books to readers. The books are often ugly, unedited and overpriced. They sell poorly, and are seldom reviewed.

Boss Brent is as incompetent as his staff. I used to pick on him and them regularly in this blog, and it's time to do it again

On the second page of the foreword to Self Publishing Simplified, Sampson refers to "off-set" printing, with a hyphen between the "off" and the "set." The term also appears on four other pages in the book.

That's a really stupid error, especially for a book publisher. The correct term is "offset," and it's been that way for over 100 years since offset printing was invented by Ira Rubel in Nutley, New Jersey.

On his company's website, Sampson urges writers to use an editor and says, "Errors in your writing cause readers to question your credibility." I question his.

The back-of-book bio says Sampson is an "accomplished artist and writer." His personal website has a stupid typo: "earn up to tens-of-thousands a dollars." Based on this, I'm not impressed with his writing accomplishments.

The book has a 'foreword' written by Sampson—which goes against normal book publishing rules. A foreword is not supposed to be written by the author. Sampson should have called it a preface or an introduction or hired someone else to write the foreword.

According to Sampson, "Peter Mark first published the Thesaurus in 1852," strangely ignoring the much more famous Peter Roget who published his Thesaurus in the same year. Actually Mark was the middle name of Peter Mark Roget, so Sampson was two-thirds right.

He also says getting an ISBN (the unique identification number for each book) is a "headache." Sorry, Brent, that's just not true. I ordered five ISBNs in about five minutes. All I needed was my keyboard and a credit card. I never touched the Tylenol bottle.

Sampson also talks about the troubles that "Most self-published authors" have getting their books distributed, the high percentages paid to Amazon, and the high costs of setting up websites. That's self-serving fiction designed to make his own company look good, and he can't possibly know the experiences of "most..."

The company's book prices are often absurd, and seem likely to doom book sales. Should a hardcover cost more than twice as much as the paperback edition? (Probably not.) Would you pay $51.95 for a book about beekeeping, or $28.95 for a book about circumcisions? 

Outskirts issued a press release (prepared by error-addicted Kelly Schuknecht) announcing that six of its authors appeared in an Outskirts ad in the "New York Times Review of Books."

Sorry, Kelly. That's not true. There is no such thing as the "New York Times Review of Books."

The Outskirts ad appeared in the New York Review of Books. It is not the same publication as the New York Times Sunday Book Review section. A book publisher should know the difference. 

Authors' bios include irrelevant info. Does knowing the name of the dead husband of an author motivate you to buy her book? Probably not.

These bits of foolishness and outright deceptions do not inspire confidence. Neither does a silly error appearing TWICE in a recent ad. Brent is identified as an "Ernest & Young Entrepreneur of the Year Semi-Finalist." The correct name is Ernst, and has been since 1903.

I am not perfect, but I strive to avoid errors in my writing. Outskirts Press does not, either in the books it publishes for others or in its own promotional materials. The company's "one-on-one support" and "veritable army of publishing professionals" are highly unprofessional.


STAY AWAY!

============

Here's a complaint from one Outskirts customer:

BEWARE!  These people are crooks!  I was so excited to publish my first book back in 2013, and they DID NOT Pay my royalties.  I advertised my book myself, despite the fact that I paid Outskirts Press to advertise, which they did not, aside from just placing my book on Amazon and B&N, a service that I also paid extra for on top of the supposed advertising.   When advertising myself, found many people had purchased my book, and one customer actually bought 10 copies to give out as Christmas gifts.  With all that, I received less than $20 in royalties in 7 years, from 2013 thru present, as I saw people purchase my books and even saw them advertised on Ebay.  

Plus, in very small print they state in your contract that you are responsible for a storage fee due every year.  Because I opted for a paper back and hard cover, I was expected to pay $50 every year for storage.  I would not have minded that, if I had received my royalties.  When you first contact them about publishing, they are the absolute nicest people around, UNTIL you are old news and then NO One ever responds to phone calls or emails.   After not receiving royalties for years and not getting return emails or calls, I finally stopped paying Storage fees AFTER paying them on time for 4 years while never seeing a penny of my royalties.  So now, through a complaint with the BBB, Outskirts Press responded to my complaint by saying because I didn't pay the storage fees, I was not entitled to receive any royalties.  This is so underhanded!  They trap you first by not paying your royalties or paying just a very small fraction (Less than $20 over 7 years!), do not answer emails or calls, to where you become so frustrated, you just stop paying the storage fees after paying them on time for 4 YEARS, and after not getting your royalties!  AND this is how they get you!  They turn it around and say you didn't pay your storage fees while continuing to sell YOUR book, collect profits and NEVER pay you a dime afterwards!  I should have read the reviews before I involved myself with them.  I SEE NOW SO MANY PEOPLE WERE CHEATED OUT OF THEIR ROYALITES AS WELL.  THIS SEEMS TO BE A VERY COMMON COMPLAINT WITH THIS COMPANY.  PLEASE BEWARE!  Take a look at the BBB (Better Business Bureau) website and you will see for yourself!  They have full control of the accounting so it's easy for them to cheat you.  If I had known they'd be so underhanded, I would have never gone with them


Monday, November 16, 2020

Writers should unite against Writers United

I recently stumbled on a Facebook group for Writers United (not to be confused with Writers Unite!) I initially thought that the group was one of dozens offering advice to writers, and it does offer some undistinguished words of encouragement to unproductive writers. But its main purpose seems to be to funnel hopeful writers to an affiliated website called https://writers-united.org 


Writers United is a company that hires freelance writers worldwide at ridiculously low rates, probably less than what could be earned by returning empty soda bottles to retrieve their deposits for a nickel apiece.



The company expects to pay about two or three cents per word

Writers United is part of a sad current trend to devalue the worth of writers and their work, made worse by such websites as Fiverr.com where literary whores will produce a 'book' for five or ten bucks. 

[below] Ads online abound from people seeking writers at absurdly low prices.



When authors think about income they are usually concerned with the dollars or percentages earned from writing complete books.

But when they are in the mode of being writers, not specifically authors, the math may shift to money per word, not per book.

I was last an active freelance magazine writer in the early 1970s. I generally got ten or fifteen cents a word. I knew of publications that paid writers as little as a penny or a nickel a word, and heard that some mags, such as Playboy, paid a buck a word. The most I got was half a buck per word, from Esquire.

If I was writing ads or brochures, I could get a buck or two or more per word.

I recently decided to get back into freelance writing and editing, both for fun and for money.

I paid to join Outsource.com to get leads on possible gigs.

Various writing and artistic projects that were once worth hundreds of dollars are priced at five bucks each—about the same as a couple of slices of pizza and a soda.

It's "a secure, online marketplace where individuals and businesses can safely and easily outsource their jobs to a large talent pool of freelancers worldwide. As a freelancer on Outsource.com, we will provide you with the resources necessary to showcase your talents, allowing you to connect with thousands of business owners in need of your services.


Outsource.com is a smarter and easier way to grow your business and connect with clients looking to hire someone with your skillset. We will match you with recommended projects, connect you with clients, and help you every step of the way so you can get the best results. We also balance the quote to job post ratio, so that your chances of being hired are very high.

We have three different 6 month subscription packages for you to choose from. Each package gives you a monthly allotment of credits to use towards sending quotes."

Each day I received about three offers. Some I'm not qualified for. Some were filled before I could respond. Most pay so little that they seem like slave labor.

The posting up above is typical. Rikki wants someone to write about 40,000 words for less than $500. Not only is that pathetic "chump change," (maybe a penny per word) but Rikki wants the book completed in no more than five days.

I suppose that the limited time and money may work for a beginning, desperate writer with time to kill. But the deal does not appeal to me and I canceled my Outsource membership.

Many of the job offers on Outsource are from people who want to masquerade as authors and sell ebooks they are unqualified to write.
 

Talent and experience are valuable.

Artists and writers should not sell their work for next to nothing. They should not compete with other artists and writers as if illustrations and books were interchangeable commodities like tons of ore or barrels of oil.


In related depravity, I've gotten emails from paperhelp.com. This company is a ghostwriting service that provides term papers for lazy, inept, corrupt students—and wanted to run ads on this blog. Students pay $19.95 per page for custom papers. You can imagine how little the actual writers get paid.


No thanks!
----------


Pizza/Pepsi photo from shsroundtable.com. Thanks.



Friday, November 13, 2020

Authors: Control your ego. Your face does not belong on your front cover unless you are famous or have written ten books






Unless you are known for writing, murder, politics, con­ning people out of billions, or winning Olympic medals, keep your name and portrait a lot smaller than your book’s title. Even better: Keep your face off the front cover.

  • Later on, if you become famous, you can revise the covers of your earlier books.
  • Even if you are famous, your photo does not have to be on your book covers.
  • Some powerful covers have no graphic elements at all.
  • If you use a portrait, have it taken by a professional photographer, with no distracting junk in the background.
  • An author photo should be of the author—only: no kids, lovers or pets unless they are important to a particular book.
  • Remember: A book cover is an advertisement for the book. It should contain elements that attract potential readers. A photo of an unknown author will probably attract nobody!
  • Unless your face is recognizable, it does not belong on your front cover. Use the space for something more powerful, such as a larger title.
The price of a portrait shot in a professional photographer’s studio can easily be in the $300-$1,000 range, which is too steep for many writers who don’t have a big publisher to pick up the check.

Fortunately, there are good, low-cost alternatives which few authors think of: the photo studios inside retail stores such as JCPenney and Walmart  (not Sears anymore). Some shopping malls have portrait studios, too. While most of their business involves babies and family Christmas cards, those studios will take pictures of solitary adults, often at ridiculously low prices (typically $7.99-$65).

Th
e photographer will be thrilled to have a subject who doesn’t vomit or require funny faces to elicit a smile.


[above/left] This is my approximate 35th book, and it's very personal, so it's fine for my face to grace the cover. If I was writing about chocolate cake or the Peloponnesian Wars, my face would be on the back

[above/right} My book about Donald Trump has him on the cover. He is more famous than I am (but I am better-looking.)
 
More about book covers, The Look of a Book: what makes a book cover good or bad and how to design a good onehttp://www.amazon.com/dp/B00BAPV724 



Wednesday, November 11, 2020

What if Joe Biden won't write a blurb for your book?
Also: beware of blurb-swappers



Every author dreams of having cover blurbs (endorsements) from famous people who'll say nice things which may entice other people to buy books. Now that Joe Biden is the likely next president of the USA, he's probably too busy to read your new book and write a review or a burb for it. 

Often, especially for a new author with a new book, it's just not possible to get the attention of a celebrity or expert who will add authority to yours.
  • That doesn't mean your book has to be blurbless.
  • There's nothing wrong with asking for and using blurbs from friends and family if what they say will be appropriate to your book.
  • Later on, if the President, Stormy Daniels or Oprah Winfrey falls in love with your words, you can revise the cover to incorporate the new comments.
The first book from my tiny publishing company, Silver Sands
Books, was I Only Flunk My Brightest Students: stories from school and real life (2008). It deals with my life. It made perfect sense to use blurbs from people who know me, rather than some distant Nobel Prize winner or bestselling novelist or historian.


The book is funny.

Identifying Howard Krosnick, the source of my front cover blurb, as "author's classmate since first grade" is almost a parody of the traditional stuffy IDs ("professor of Indo-Eurasion folk medicine at the University of Guatemala), and reinforces the mood of the book. Howie said, "I couldn't stop reading. I couldn't stop laughing." Blurbs don't get much better than that.


Stories I'd Tell My Children (but maybe not until they're adults) is an updated replacement for the 'flunk' book. It has a fantastic cover blurb which says, "This book is so funny that I nearly peed in my pants. My girlfriend didn't think it was funny, so I got a new girlfriend."

The blurber, Nicholas Santiago, is someone I know through business. His words are sufficient. I see no need to explain who he is, and I doubt that Lindsay Lohan, Ivanka Trump, Paris Hilton or Perez Hilton  could have written a better recommendation. I received "five stars" and some nice words from the Midwest Book Review—but those words are not as funny as Nick's words.

Most blurbs I've seen are written by authors, and many of them are not well-known authors. Apparently "Author A" thinks she or he will gain some useful publicity by having a quote printed on the cover of a book written by "Author B."



(above) Barbara Barth wrote a wonderful book, The Unfaithful Widow: Fragmented Memoirs Of My First Year Alone. The back cover shows great reviews from authors Philip Nutman and Patrice Dickey. I never heard of them. The reviews on Amazon from 'ordinary' readers may be more persuasive. 
  • Try to avoid obvious blurb swaps (“I’ll kiss your ass if you kiss mine.”) Tit-for-tat is tacky.  
  • Some authors are apparently so desperate for publicity that they become 'blurb whores.' I know of one author whose name seems to be on many more book covers as a blurber than an author. When someone writes a huge number of blurbs—particularly for books in the same field—the blurbs (and the blurber) lose credibility. 
  • Avoid blurbs (and reviews) from people who are connected with your book. I know of one book that carries a blurb from an employee of its publisher, and another with an Amazon review from the book's editor! 
  • There's nothing wrong with your acting as a writing coach for your blurbers. You can even write a complete blurb and ask someone to "adopt" it.
  • If you’ve written a how-to book, the best blurbs will come from people who have actually been helped by it.
A good way to find “amateur” blurbers who might write sincere comments about actually benefiting from your book is to observe online communities that are concerned with your subject. If you find articulate people with problems your book solves, offer to send them free advance copies (even PDFs or word-processing files if bound copies are not yet available or if you will not be publishing on paper) in exchange for their comments. You can say that you’d like to know if the book was helpful and how it can be improved. Mention that you might like to quote their comments, but don’t guarantee it.


James & Geoff. Which one did I sit next to on a plane?

Don’t be too timid to approach famous authors, politicians, business leaders and celebrities, especially if you have something in common which can create a bond. You might be pleasantly surprised.

Write a good letter and explain how you think the book relates to the prospective blurber. Find a reason to compliment the candidate. If possible, refer to a time when you were in the same place, perhaps during a speech or a book signing or on an airplane. (I once sat next to James Earl Jones. Hmm. Actually, it may have been Geoffrey Holder.)

Short blurbs are usually better than long blurbs. Humorous blurbs (if appropriate) are often better than serious blurbs.

Request blurbs as long in advance as possible—as soon as you have a draft of your book that is good enough to show. The book does not have to be complete. You can probably get by with an introduction, a table of contents, and a few chapters sent as a PDF. If you want a blurb from someone famous, it’s probably better to send an ARC (advance reading [or "review"] copy) than a PDF.

Incorporate good “early” blurbs into your back cover and first page as soon as possible. If other blurbers read them, they may be more likely to write similarly positive comments.


Monday, November 9, 2020

Authors: Do these books have the worst indexes in the world? Probably


I previously declared that the world's worst index was in Best in Self-Publishing & Print-On-Demand by David Rising, a charter member of the Self-Publishing Hall of Shame.

The index was apparently assembled by a robot and never checked by a homo sapiens. A smart orangutan or lemur might have made a better index.

(above) In the index, before the “A” topics, we have topics beginning with $, 3 and 7. The index typography is a strange mix of standard, boldface and underlined text, has no system for capitalization, and uses different typefaces. Even email addresses appear in the index. There are terms that no one would ever look for, like "hobby" and "private." Some terms are listed twice. Do we really need 72 DPI as well as 72 DPI. with a period after it? (Both are on the same page, BTW.)

Expected terms and names are left out. The front cover screams, “How to Get Published Free.” The word “free” is not indexed, and I couldn’t find anything about free book publishing inside the book.


Helen Gallagher wrote an ugly, sloppy, padded, inaccurate and poorly edited book titled Release Your Writing: Book Publishing, Your Way!


(above) Helen produced the second-worst index I've ever seen. Readers really don't need separate listings for both "distributors" and "Distributors," or "marketing" and "Marketing," or "publishers" and "Publishers," or "small press," "small presses" and "Small Presses."

Most nonfiction pbooks need an index. Microsoft Word can produce an index, but it will be ugly and confusing without proper setup—and intervention. (I confess to skipping the index in several recent books. Was I lazy or trying to save time? Maybe both.)

Some important tips:
  1. Remove duplicate listings. The same word shown in both roman and italic type, or with and without Initial Uppercase Letters, or in singular and plural form does not deserve two listings.
  2. Don't include any terms that nobody would look for.
  3. If you add or remove pages, update the index so page numbers will be accurate.
  4. Make sure that you include important terms, especially if they are on your cover or in your promotional material.
  5. Names should be listed under the last name.
  6. Check spelling.
Even some good books have bad indexes. All books don't need indexes. If you are sure you need to have an index, be prepared to invest a lot of time in it (when you might rather be doing something else) or maybe invest money to have someone else do it. There are professional indexers in the UK and in the USA who can do quality work without complaining.

I now have the distinct displeasure to announce a tie for "World's Worst Index," in The Great Black Hope by Constance Kluesener Gorman.



The book is a confusing mix of sports and spirituality. The author claims to be a Christian Mystic "favored with the gifts of prophecy, healing, miracles and private revelation from God."  It would be better if she had the gift of proper indexing.

On an online authors' forum she complained about poor sales despite extensive publicity.

There are many reasons why a book may not sell well. It's important to keep in mind that nothing kills a bad product faster than good advertising

Book previews on websites plus downloadable free samples can make potential purchasers aware of problems which keep them from buying the book.

The author's website, Amazon description and book badly need editing. Obvious errors in grammar and typography scream AMATEUR.

The index should be severely edited, or just deleted.

Who is going to try to find a page about "birthday" or "Mike?" Why does Lawrence Taylor have one citation under "LT" but eleven without the "LT?" Why is Mentor in boldface and  gunfire in italics? There seems to be no system for Uppercasing, italicizing and boldfacing. The index lists both depression and Depression. Levi Jones is listed twice. People are listed under first names, not last. "Kroger's.," should be "Kroger,"

Did anyone look at this stinking mess before I did?

[from Wikipedia] Some principles of good indexing:

  • Ensuring each topic/section includes a variety of relevant index entries; use two or three entries per topic
  • Understanding the audience and understand what kind of index entries they're likely to look for
  • Use the same form throughout (singular vs. plural, capitalization, etc.), using standard indexing conventions

Indexing pitfalls:

  • Significant topics with no index entries at all
  • Indexing 'mere mentions': "But John Major was no Winston Churchill..." indexed under 'Churchill, Winston'
  • Circular cross-references: 'Felidae. See Cats'; 'Cats. See Felidae'
  • References to discussions of a single topic scattered among several main headings: 'Cats, 50–62'; 'Felidae, 175–183'
  • Inconsistently indexing similar topics
  • Confusing similar names: Henry V of England, Henri V of France
  • Incorrect alphabetization: 'α-Linolenic acid' under 'A' instead of 'L'
  • Inappropriate inversions: 'processors, word' for 'word processors'
  • Inappropriate subheadings: 'processors: food, 213–6; word, 33–7'
  • Computer indexing from section headings: e.g. 'Getting to know your printer' under 'G'

[below] GOOD NEWS: Most ebooks are searchable, with no work required by the author to create an index: