Monday, February 27, 2012

This year, Donny Trump, Billy Clinton, Cher, Dubya and I can start collecting Social Security

I'm a proud member of the first cohort of the baby boom.

I was born in 1946 along with Dolly Parton, Candy Bergen, Donny Trump, Billy Clinton, Georgie and Laura Bush, Cher, Linda Ronstadt, Lisa Minnelli, Patty Smith, Jimmy Buffet, Reggie Jackson, Ilie Nastase, Sly Stallone, Oliver Stone, Gianni Versace and Suzanne Somers.

This year we can start collecting Social Security.

I need the money.  Donny probably doesn't. I'm not sure about Reggie.

As you type, be conscious of your habitual errors, which may increase as you get older.

In the last few years I’ve frequently and stupidly held down the shift key as I pressed the key to insert an apostrophe, and ended up inserting a quote mark.

I also often type “i nthe” instead of “in the” and “fro ma” instead of “from a.” I also tap the Caps Lock key a lot by accident, and the semi-colon instead of the apostrophe next door.

I solved part of the problem by removing the Caps Lock key from some of my keyboards.

While writing a recent book, I started tapping the “Page Down” key instead of “delete.”

I've also degenerated from being the world's fasted six-finger typist to a pretty-good two-finger typist. (I actually have 10 fingers -- but I don't use them all for typing.)

If I live long enough I’ll probably develop even more bad habits that I can’t control. I hope sloppy typing is not an early sign of dementia.

I guess having to fix typos is better than dying young and perfect. When I start drooling on the keyboard, maybe I'll stop writing.

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