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Sunday, April 10, 2011

Much worse than TMI,
we now have MTMIWNGASA.
OMG!


TMI is the abbreviation for Three Mile Island and Too Much Information.

Kevin Sivils' "About the author" page necessitates a new abbreviation: MTMIWNGASA: Much Too Much Information Which Nobody Gives A Shit About.

(The page above is from
301 Frequently Asked Questions About Self-Publishing
by Kevin Sivils. Left-click to enlarge, but have barf bag handy.)

The main purpose of the "About the author" section of a nonfiction book is to convince readers and prospective purchasers that the author has appropriate experience and knowledge so the book can be relied on. The section may also reveal a bit about the personal life of the author. It may even be entertaining, if entertainment is appropriate to the mood of the book.
  • The first sentence in Kevin's "About" is one of the top-ten worst sentences ever written in the English language.
  • Knowing that his teams won 464 times does not mean he knows a lot about book publishing. Or anything about book publishing.
  • Knowing that he had studied social studies and kinesiology does not imply that he knows a recto from a verso, or a recto from a rectum.
  • Knowing that Kevin is happily married does not guarantee that he knows a serif from a fleuron.
  • Knowing that he taught gym and that his wife's maiden name was Green and that she comes from Jackson, Michigan does not mean that I should believe him when he says that the copyright page often goes opposite the title page. (It does not.)
  • Knowing the names of his kids and dogs, or that he thinks that Texas is great (actually he uppercases it as "Great"), provides absolutely no reason to buy, read or believe the book.
  • Maybe there simply is no reason to buy, read or believe the book.

Rants to the author: 
  1. Hey Kevin, was it really necessary to print the title of the book THREE TIMES on the ugly back cover of the book? Couldn't you find something useful or entertaining to say? I guess not.
  2. There's not supposed to be a hyphen in "offset."
  3. You should learn how to press the damn COMMA key on your keyboard!
  4. And the HYPHEN key.
  5. And learn when NOT to press those keys!
  6. The book is poorly written, badly formatted and apparently unedited, like your other books.
  7. If you can't afford to hire a professional editor, you can't afford to publish. 
  8. Exhaustive research has led me to the inescapable opinion that your cover designer, Kalee Baumguardner, has not designed any other book covers. It shows.


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3 comments:

  1. Wow, Micheal. I would really hate to be on your bad side.

    I know Kevin. He's a very generous guy. He's given me feedback on a few projects, and he's a frequent participant on the POD_Newsgroup.

    He's a basketball coach (so there's no flowery language), but I know that he's helped a lot of other authors try to make a few extra dollars.

    ReplyDelete
  2. To Christy...

    Kevin may be wonderful in a million ways, but he still needs an editor. We all do.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I've seen Kevin's book (Self-Publishing with Amazon's CreateSpace)for sale on Amazon, and to be honest, the name of his publishing company would make me think twice about buying his book, KCS Basketball Enterprises.

    This might be fine if he were publishing books only about basketball, but he's not.

    ReplyDelete